"Go Forth" in Me, Lord

Baby Max has a court date today, and hopefully we will find out more about his situation later. He is adjusting and slowly going down for naps easier but is still hit or miss on how many times he is up in the night. Mama is managing. :)

We begin our adoption classes on Saturday, and will be there from 9am to 4pm. I shamefacedly admit, I am looking forward to the break. I think the hardest part of adjusting to a new placement is just the emotion behind it all. I can do the work (although I don't enjoy waking up in the night). It is just impossible for me to describe the strangeness of caring for a child that you know nothing about and to whom you feel no emotional attachment. I know that attachment will come after the first few weeks, but until then, it seems just strange and unnatural. I even find myself mistaking him for a girl in the middle of night, since I have always gotten up in the night with girls. I squint at him and think, "Now wait a minute, who are you?"

I am currently reading The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne E. Schooler (thanks Amy!) and was struck by an answer she gives to the question that many people ask those who are adopting - why are you adopting? I think it really applies to foster care as well, although fostering can be more short term. She calls it "voluntary redemptive suffering."
The following is a excerpt from Schooler's book:

Wrapping one's heartstrings around someone else's child is a voluntary choice. Each year, hundreds upon hundreds of adoptive parents around this nation voluntarily stand before a judge to make a promise to a stranger's child: "We will be your family, forever, by our choice to do so."
Adoption is not only voluntary; it is also redemptive. "Redeem" means to release, to make up for, to restore. An adoptive family's guiding light is the vision to restore to an abused or neglected child the dignity of life that was ripped from him. It is a dignity that child was born to enjoy.
In addition to being voluntary and redemptive, adoption involves suffering.
To extend your energies around the clock with no guarantee of a night's rest to care for a seriously ill child - that is suffering.
To be told, "You're not my real mom/dad," and to continue to give love in spite of that rejection - that is suffering...
...Why do people adopt? Because they live lives by a spiritual principle - voluntary redemptive suffering.

I received the following e-devo this morning that brought it all together for me:

FACE THE CHALLENGE
John 18:4, "Jesus therefore, knowing all things that should come upon him, went forth, and said unto them, Whom seek ye?"

Jesus knew what He had to face. He had just come from the Garden of Gethsemane where he sweat drops of blood in agony of facing the cruel cross and taking upon himself the sins of the world. He prayed that his Father would take "this cup" away from him. But knowing all he would face, he went forth. He went forth to face the agony. He didn't hold back.

This is a challenge to me. We will never have to face what Jesus faced. But what do we do about the problems we have to face each day? Do we cringe from them? Do we turn a blind eye so we don't even have to face them? Or do we go into depression and self-pity?

Perhaps you find it hard to get up out of bed and even face going out to the kitchen each morning. Do you have a hard time facing dishes, the big pile of laundry, or that room that is in such a mess? Can I encourage you to get up and "go forth", even as Jesus did. Tackle your task little by little. Don't think you have to do the whole overwhelming task all at once. Make a start, and keep going until you finish.

Perhaps you are facing a huge challenge in your life--a mountain that looks impossible in front of you. Mountains look impossible to us, but they are nothing to God. Go forth in His name and His power. I think of a chorus that we used to sing as young people.

Got any rivers you think are uncrossable?
Got any mountains you can't tunnel through?
God specializes in things thought impossible;
And He can do what no other can do.

It wasn't until recently that I found out that the source of this chorus came from the Panama Canal builders who faced a nearly impossible task and where well over 25,000 people died in the building of it.

You may be facing a raging battle in your life. It seems too much for you. It is bigger than what you can handle. Don't look at the bigness. God is with you. He will handle it for you. Read the instructions God give to the Israelites when they faced battles and armies who were far bigger than them. In Deuteronomy 20:1-9 He tells them not to be afraid because He will be with them. "There must be no faint hearts among you, no flinching, no yielding, no trembling ..." Of course you can't win this battle on your own, but God will fight for you. Trust Him. Go into the battle, not in your own strength, but trusting totally in God.

The name of God is a noun, but God is also a verb. Jesus said in John 5:17, "My Father worketh, and I work." God, who lives in you by His Holy Spirit, wants to work in you to do His will. Philippians 2:13 says, "For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure." Will you allow Him to work in you? Will you allow Him to "go forth" in you? He will face your problems with you. He will go with you. He will help you.
Perhaps you are facing a cross. Can I encourage you to embrace your cross and go forth! Go forth by faith! Go forth, knowing that Jesus lives in you. He has faced more than you will ever face and He lives in you. He wants to live His in life in you. He is in you to help you. You can go forth in His name.

Love from NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:
"Father, I thank you that you are with me. I pray that you will work in me and help me to go forth to do the tasks that you have given me to do. Help me to trust in you as I face my problems. Amen.

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Although the cross the Lord Jesus has called me to carry does not come close to comparing to His cross, it comforts me that He asked for "this cup pass" from Him. I imagine that He found it hard to feel "cheerful" about the pain that He volunteered to suffer. Not that He will not bring "joy in the journey," but I feel relieved that in our suffering, we are to suffer, voluntarily entering into pain, and not necessarily putting a happy face on it all the time. His voluntary redemptive suffering saves me and gives me life today and forever. I pray that the Holy Spirit will "go forth" in me to do His work so that I can do the work that He has given me to do.